Cognitive restructuring
'Cognition' is a word used to denote a thought or belief, and 'restructuring' involves challenging a cognition by looking at the evidence for or against it. The basic idea behind cognitive restructuring is that thoughts themselves are not facts; you need to consider whether the thoughts you are having are true and to consider whether there are any other ways to thinking about a particular situation. At first this can be a real challenge: we often believe what we think and don't question our own thoughts. However, often our thinking is biased, and with perfectionism it can be biased towards thinking too negatively and harshly about yourself.
The stuff that isn't facts
The following misconceptions might be influencing how you perceive your life and how you work towards your goals. It is likely these perfectionstic ideas are ones you take for granted, without having first stopped to evaluate whether they are facts, beliefs, or the result of your mental filter.
Misconception #1
Working harder achieves more
This might sound logical, but economics tells us it isn't the case. There is a point of optimal effort for optimal return, either side of this point and you get less than optimal results. If you put in too little effort you will not do well, but by putting in too much effort you will not do well either.
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This idea can be summed up by what’s called The Law of Diminishing Returns. The principle comes from economics but can be applied to psychology. Imagine both effort and outcome are comprised of units: a one unit increase in effort produces a one unit increase in outcome.
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At some point the amount of time and effort that you are investing will no longer be as effective in yielding the results you want. You begin to lose the ‘bang for your buck’ and the increase in outcome gets smaller with every unit of effort you add.
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Eventually you will end up with what’s called ‘negative return’: when adding more effort actually causes a loss in the amount of outcome. That is, putting in more time and effort damages your performance because of stress, fatigue, and burnout.
Misconception #2
Being a perfectionist keeps me motivated
This misconception has already been discussed in earlier sessions, perfectionism doesn't improve performance. Specifically, perfectionists set the bar high when it comes to success and are self-critical about failure.
Self-criticism is a deterrent to trying again after an unsuccessful attempt and can lead to avoidance and procrastination.
Self-compassion is a far greater motivator as it builds resilience and allows room for failure to occur. For more information, check out this link.
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Misconception #3
It's not ok for me to make mistakes
A fallacy of perfectionism is the belief in order to achieve, you need to work harder, be smarter, and show more dedication than other people; that other people are naturally more talented and so don't need to put in as much effort as you do.
This is a shining example of double standards, which was covered in Sessions 2 and 3. With this double standard, you become the exception to the status quo which says:
'All people, no matter how successful they want to be, need to take breaks'.
Underlying this misconception is the assumption that you are more likely to be unsuccessful, and so placing strict rules and regiments on yourself appears necessary for you to not fail. This double standards is problematic in two areas:
Firstly, it invalidates your body's natural need to take breaks.
Second, it assumes that failure is a bad thing.