Cognitive restructuring
'Cognition' is a word used to denote a thought or belief, and 'restructuring' involves challenging a cognition by looking at the evidence for or against it. The basic idea behind cognitive restructuring is that thoughts themselves are not facts; you need to consider whether the thoughts you are having are true and to consider whether there are any other ways to thinking about a particular situation. At first this can be a real challenge: we often believe what we think and don't question our own thoughts. However, often our thinking is biased, and with perfectionism it can be biased towards thinking too negatively and harshly about yourself.
How do you think?
By now your perfectionism cycle will hopefully include a combination of thoughts, actions, self-talk, and emotions. One key point to take away from this exercise is that your thoughts have a knock-on effect. The way you interpret an event (either as a success or a failure) is key to the cycle and what keeps it going.
What we say to ourselves and what we think has a profound impact on our mood. When you have perfectionism and are often thinking that you are failing, or criticising yourself for not doing well enough, this way of thinking makes you feel anxious and depressed.
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Not only do negative thoughts impact on your feelings, it also has an impact on the way you behave. For example, telling yourself you won't enjoy going to a party because you think you are boring and won't know anyone there will make you far less likely to make the effort and go out. So it is important to become aware of what you are thinking to understand what drives you to behave or react in the way you do.
Since it is so important to realise your habitual thinking patterns, the next section will cover common unhelpful thinking styles. While you're reading through them, keep in mind the question
Does this apply to me and how I think?