Cognitive restructuring
'Cognition' is a word used to denote a thought or belief, and 'restructuring' involves challenging a cognition by looking at the evidence for or against it. The basic idea behind cognitive restructuring is that thoughts themselves are not facts; you need to consider whether the thoughts you are having are true and to consider whether there are any other ways to thinking about a particular situation. At first this can be a real challenge: we often believe what we think and don't question our own thoughts. However, often our thinking is biased, and with perfectionism it can be biased towards thinking too negatively and harshly about yourself.
Dealing with setbacks
Below is a list compiled of some points to remember when you are struggling to work through a setback.
Consider ahead of time (i.e. before something goes wrong) what types of stress and situations might cause problems for you. This will help you recognise problems more quickly when they occur.
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Start working on the problem as soon as you can. The earlier you start, the easier it will be to tackle the problem and the less likely you are to feel overwhelmed.
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Don't panic. Remember, setbacks will happen and are a natural part of the change process. Use this time as an opportunity to consolidate your learning.
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When things are feeling more settled, identify the trigger that caused the wobble. If it is something that can be dealt with or prevented ahead of time, work on reducing the chance of it causing any future mishaps in your life.
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At the end of it all, be compassionate to yourself. Note what you did despite the adversity, and look for changes compared to what you might have done if you weren't implementing these new skills. Moving in the right direction matters more than being perfect.
Below is the last activity for this program. It is the chance for you to write yourself a memo, a letter, or a reflection for future you. Right now the information you have learned is fresh in your mind and you may be able to easily think of the reasons for wanting to change. With time though, it's easy to forget the reasons for your motivation and lose some of your momentum for making changes.
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Write a message for future you to remember how you feel now.
Please remember to save your message if you want to see it again after closing this page.